Schwing!
I didn't want to write about this at all, because it's the dumbest thing since boiled candy, but this new John McCain ad is hilariously dumb and also bad and also dumb and ugly and poorly made and bad. It's the latest in the line of "That Obama, He Thinks He's So Cool But He's So NOT" ads, and it's horrible.

First of all, fine - there are lots of people who support Obama who aren't the brightest bulbs in the world. That's true of all candidates forever everywhere. I pray Obama's people don't (but OK, pray that Somebody does) but it would be so much more hilariously bad and wonderful if they made a commercial of the dumbest McCain supporters they could find. Because the whole idea is to swing moderates, to say, "You don't want to be like these idiots." But this is a funny road to go down, because I'm sure most moderates would rather hang out with the Kind of Clueless Young People than the Angry Racist Guy Who Keeps Calling Obama a Bad Racist Word and Kicking His Dog.

But I digress. The thing that slipped by me, that irritated me but went away, was the bumper at the end where they showed a sixteen-year old clip of a catchphrase that died long ago: Wayne and Garth saying "We're not worthy!" to Alice Cooper.

Now, perhaps some of you were acolytes of one Wayne Campbell and his best friend Garth Algar, and perhaps you even had a baseball cap that said "Wayne's World" on it that you wore everywhere, including on The Rattler at Fiesta Texas, where it flew off your head on that first big drop, but the park workers were nice enough to retrieve it for you. Perhaps you are familiar with their myriad sayings, such as "'No way.' 'Way.'" or "These pretzels are making me thirsty."

Two things come up here. First of all, it comes out that Mike Meyers had them pull the clip because the inclusion of a scene from Wayne's World violates copyright law. And, uh, if your job, if your ONLY JOB is in media/advertising/etc, don't you think that you'd be familiar with the most basic laws concerning copyright infringement, of clearance and permissions? The ineptitude of this campaign is just brutal.

Secondly, I know they're not trying to be hip. That's not the point, and I guess I can appreciate that. Of all the pandering John McCain is doing, at least he's not walking around in crocs making bad jokes referencing Jonas Brothers songs or whatever. ("I agree with Katy Perry - I kissed a girl and I liked it, too! And she's right here! My wife, Cyndi. Make out with one of these girls, Cyndi.")

The story is written and clear. Obama attracts younger people, McCain skews older, and keeps the demographic of older white people without college educations out of Obama's grasp. McCain's shoring up his support from people who don't know and don't care that referencing Wayne's World is really, really dorky. In fact, this ad probably delighted them. I mean, this is a guy who still talks about "Czechoslovakia", for God's sake. If we can't keep him up to date on geopolitical affairs how can be expect him to know that Dana Carvey does not, in fact, get mobbed everywhere he goes.

"And I sincerely believe that Barack Obama has the skills and experience necessary to lead this country into the new millennium...NOT!" Huge applause line.

Anyway, I can't wait until the McCain campaign makes some sort of joke out of a New Kids on the Block song or the Macarena or something. A pet rock. In fact, that'll be our drinking game for the GOP convention. Anytime somebody makes a cultural reference that's older than Abigail Breslin we have to chug three tall boys of Coors Light and a shot of tequila. I'll see all of you in the emergency room.