I am shaking with joy right now
So a few years ago I got published in this book, "Monologues for Men By Men." The editor, a professor who I'd worked with, had read a few of my plays and, after seeing In The Middle of the Ocean, asked me to write something on the subject of modern manhood (Skipper is also in this book). I wrote a little thing I'm fairly proud of called "Ditter's Primal Scream" (in which this immensely whipped guy loses his shit while yelling at his girlfiend, who is just sitting there laughing at him).

As I've written before, I every once in a while get an e-mail from an acting student somewhere searching for advice on the character (my contact info is in the back of the book).

Anyhoo--I was Googling myself (and a lot of you, too, dammit...) and I found this, which has made my fucking millenium. It's from the blog "WhAtCha THoUGht Yo!", written by this Napa Valley high schooler named Mike. Here are excerpts, first from his intro, then from stuff that's more relevent:

WhAtS CraCkin'..My NaMe Is MiKE..WutCha THoUght..LOL..I'm Movin to L.A. cuz I HatE the Bay aReA..(No BaY LuV FroM Me)..WeLL aLso L.A. N' S.cAli Just SeeMs bEta Den Up HeRe..Im A Full TiME stuDeNt and I aLsO Just got In2 Sum DraMa CoUrSes and It'S HELLA FUCKIN fun! I LiKE TO ClUb HoP aND GEt DrUnK AS fUcK..I'm a NICe PeRsOn But If Ur MeaN to me..I'll FuCKin SpIt In UR FacE and LAugh..O Yea!

Just as an intro. Then, further down:

I just finished practicing my MONOLOG..it's called DITTERS PRIMAL SCREAM...by CHRIS ALONZO...but yea it's coo. It's coming along i just hope i don't fuck it up in class tomorrow. Today was boring as hell! Nuttin much went on and yea thats Napa for ya!..

!!!!!!

I quickly pored through the (yeah I'm at work, Fuck off!) rest of the site to find more references to his progress.

IT'S PRETTY LATE AND I NEED TO TAKE A BREAK FROM PRACTICING MY MONOLOG...I REALLY WANT TO DO GOOD ON IT AND I'M JUST STRESSIN OUT...U KNOW WUT I MEAN..I GET SHIT TWIST ON MY LINES...EVERN THOUGH IM YELLIN IN MY ROOM..( THE MONOLOG ABOUT A GUY YELLIN ) I STILL GET NERVOUS..???? Y?????THERES NO ONE THERE BUT ME,....O WELL..I JUST HOPE..I MEAN I KNOW I'LL DO GOOD ON IT TOMORROW!!! PRAY FOR ME...ONE LOVE...ONE KISS...IM OUT LIKE THIS...PEACE~!

*****

TODAY I DID MY MONOLOG..MAN I WAS GREAT..I MEAN I FELT RAELLY GOOD ABOUT IT AND I WAS HAPPY WITH THE OUT COME..I REALLY GOT INTO IT AND MAN AFTER I DID IT I WAS SHAKING AND NEEDED A SMOKE...AWWW WOW THAT SOUNDS GREAT RYTE NOW!..

That's frikkin awesome!! I need a cigarette when I do that monologue, too. It's really, really fucking hard. Like a mini play crammed into 120 seconds of dialogue.

I HAVE TO DO A MONOLOG FOR MY ACTING CLASS AND YEA IT'S GOIN GOOD AND ALL BUT EVERYONE THAT WENT TODAY WAS GREAT! I MEAN REALLY GOOD..AND I HOPE I AM AS GOOD AS THEM...BUT YEA...WELL TODAY I WENT TO SELL SUM OF MY ANGEL FISH ..I MADE $60..HOLLA..

And then, of course, this:

I HAVE TO TAKE A SHIT- A BIG SHIT- THE KIND THAT FORMS AN ISLAND IN THE TOILET..I ALWAYS CALL IT MIKE..THE ISLAND OF MYSTERY..!!!!

Somebody get this kid a Ghost Runner CD. He's alright people by me.